Prompt:

[Intro] Yeah… I thought changing would make it all so better… But nobody told me it would still hurt this much. I been fighting through my life… God, how much more do u think can I really take? [Verse 1] I grew up where the sirens got louder than the church, Mama prayed for better days while we was making do with worse. Had to learn about the cold before I ever knew the warmth, Saw some people lose their lives, some got lost before they grew up. gun shot going... off I told myself I'd never be the man I saw around me, So I changed my ways, but somehow pain still found me. I put the drugs, the streets, the anger in the past, But every time I try to heal, another wound gets opened back... up I thought doing right meant everything would fall in place, But I'm still staring at these bills with tears running down my face. I been asking God for peace, but peace don't ever stay, Soon as I think I'm finally good, something takes it all away. [Pre-Chorus] They say God don't give a soldier more than he can bear, But sometimes I look up and wonder, “God, are You even there?” I know You got a purpose, I just wish that I could see… 'Cause every lesson that You give me Feels like it's breaking me. [Chorus] Why's it gotta hurt so bad When I'm trying to be a better man? I left the life I used to have, Still can't seem to understand. If these are battles for Your soldiers, Why they cut so deep inside? I keep telling myself, “Keep going,” But I'm tired of saying I'm alright. I changed my heart, I changed my ways, So why am I still stuck in pain? I gave You everything I had, Still watching all my plans fade away. If You know what's best for me, Then why does it feel so hard? I'm trying not to lose my faith… But I'm tired, God. I'm tired, God. [Verse 2] I had dreams bigger than the block that raised me, Wanted a life where my future wouldn't have to fear me. I wanted to make my family proud, give 'em something they could keep, But life keeps moving goalposts every time I get close to my dreams. I lost friends to the streets, lost years to mistakes, Lost pieces of myself trying to find my place. And I forgave people who never said they were sorry, Still carry all that weight like it's part of my body. Sometimes I smile just so nobody asks what's wrong, Sometimes I pray at night and feel like my prayers ain't getting through. I know I ain't perfect, Lord, I know I've done wrong, But I thought after everything, maybe I could finally move on. [Pre-Chorus] They say God don't give a soldier A battle he can't survive, But I'm fighting with a heart That's barely staying alive. Maybe there's a reason For every tear I've cried… But I don't need another lesson, I just need to know I'm gonna be alright. [Chorus] Why's it gotta hurt so bad When I'm trying to be a better man? I left the life I used to have, Still can't seem to understand. If these are battles for Your soldiers, Why they cut so deep inside? I keep telling myself, “Keep going,” But I'm tired of saying I'm alright. I changed my heart, I changed my ways, So why am I still stuck in pain? I gave You everything I had, Still watching all my plans fade away. If You know what's best for me, Then why does it feel so hard? I'm trying not to lose my faith… But I'm tired, God. I'm tired, God. [Bridge – almost whispered] Maybe I'm not being punished… Maybe I'm being prepared. Maybe every road that broke me Was taking me somewhere. But God, I'm only human… And sometimes I get scared. I know You never left me… I just wish I felt You there. [Final Chorus] Why's it gotta hurt so bad When I'm finally doing what is right? I survived everything behind me, Still fighting something every night. If You chose me for this battle, Please don't leave me in the dark. I don't need an easy life… Just give me strength to carry this heart. I changed my heart, I changed my ways, Even when nobody saw the change. And if my plans don't go the way I dreamed, I'll still believe You know what I need. But if I'm one of Your soldiers, And this is the road You chose… Please remind me when I'm hurting That I'm not walking it alone. [Outro] I came from the bottom… I just wanted something better. I changed… But I'm still hurting. Maybe that's the part nobody tells you— Sometimes becoming better Doesn't mean life gets easier. Sometimes… It just means you finally have the strength To survive what comes next.